I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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