wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
