So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
