found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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