I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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