Whod you bang
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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