With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
