You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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