Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
now i know why i became what i already was.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
