...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
