That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
