Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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