dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
