remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
