have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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