i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
