I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
