I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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