OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
