but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
