ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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