Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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