Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
