would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just had sex on a roof
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
