Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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