i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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