Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
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id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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