..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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