I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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