i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
