I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Boobs speak an international language.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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