I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha