Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.

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  (248): Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on. http://tfl.nu/7zdh
  Replies (2) Good night (1596) Bad night (734)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My liver just broke up with me...

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  (303): My liver just broke up with me... http://tfl.nu/2vsq
  Replies (2) Good night (1165) Bad night (932)
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  (415): View more from California

  mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you

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  (415): mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you http://tfl.nu/75lg
  Replies (3) Good night (2639) Bad night (690)
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  (845): View more from New York

  felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

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  (845): felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter http://tfl.nu/o0yy
  Replies (33) Good night (1569) Bad night (6445)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??

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  (406): She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads?? http://tfl.nu/sqt6
  Replies (24) Good night (2093) Bad night (2959)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday

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  (740): Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday http://tfl.nu/hztn
  Replies (5) Good night (1844) Bad night (735)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.

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  (501): I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II. http://tfl.nu/1v38
  Replies (4) Good night (1108) Bad night (613)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.

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  (902): It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped. http://tfl.nu/3q2q
  Replies (2) Good night (1555) Bad night (691)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.

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  (321): I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see. http://tfl.nu/2cw0
  Replies (3) Good night (931) Bad night (547)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.

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  (815): You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever. http://tfl.nu/5xks
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (918)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.

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  (734): So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know. http://tfl.nu/o6il
  Replies (2) Good night (1615) Bad night (615)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just vodka nap now...

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  (706): When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between (267): I just vodka nap now... http://tfl.nu/97w6
  Replies (1) Good night (715) Bad night (434)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.

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  (514): I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/4ifb
  Replies (9) Good night (688) Bad night (510)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test

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  (804): He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test http://tfl.nu/c376
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (298)
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other

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  (530): I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other http://tfl.nu/k3vc
  Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (203)

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