I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?