Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?