i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
