i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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