u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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