girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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