U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
