Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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