I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
