that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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