It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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