then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You work out of a Hotel?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
