I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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