when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
