Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I didn't notice because vodka
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
