I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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