I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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