I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
