Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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