Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
