Your mouth is God's brothel.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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