next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
