From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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