Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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