So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
