My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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