OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
