You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
