stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
