Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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